Goodbye (Old Me)

I can't keep this up anymore. This pulverized persona has long passed its expiration date... So why haven't I let it go? Is it fear of the unknown? Fear of discomfort? Or possibly the fear of being empty...? The fear that without what I have had for so long, that I would just be a husk missing components I have become comfortable with...

I can't keep this going. This rolling cycle has gained enough miles, traveled far enough... I have to take the leap, make the change. I have to release the armory I have built up that is now weighing me down... So... I stand at the precipice, inching ever closer to the edge. Once I go, I can't go back. I can't repeat the past... Otherwise, I'll never let go... So... I inch a little farther, the tips of my toes now over the edge..

I take the leap... It's terrifying, but... In mid-air... It's freeing... You eventually feel like you're flying... The weight of the past no longer there, feeling how the birds do in the sky... I can't turn back now... And I wouldn't have it any other way... So all I have left to say is...

Goodbye

Fallen

     Something is horribly wrong. The once lively home is dark and most telling of all... Still. You dart to the front door to see for yourself what's going on, but you freeze right at the door... Your hand an inch away from the handle... "Why am I freezing up?" you wonder... Though inside you know why... You know why you can't check inside and you know why it's desolate. After what felt like an eternity of paralysis, your hand touches the cold door handle... A flurry of emotions violently swirl within. All indiscernible due the confusing mix. Conflicting thoughts shout and yank at you for your attention. "Open the door!" "Don't open the door." You tremble with this internal chaos and in your trembling...

    You open the door... Your face goes pale and all the strength in your legs vanish, causing you to collapse. The sight before you shakes you. You attempt to speak but no words come out. Only a guttural noise that sounds alien to you. You wonder where the noise is coming from, but like before... You already know. Though you already collapsed, you feel as if the ground is slipping away beneath you. Slowly but surely burying you. The already chaotic, violent vortex of emotions within you run rampant. Feeling as though they're erupting from every pore of your body. In this turbulent experience, there is nothing for you to do. There is nothing you can do. Just laying in the experience and riding the potent waves of emotions.

    After a time that felt too long, the emotions finally pass and you can finally move again. You rise. In this stillness, you come to many truths. You couldn't have changed what happened. You can't change what has transpired. You can only move forward. This event only made you stronger and wiser. You look back inside. The emotions stir as much as a mouse. Nowhere near enough to topple you once more. You have changed. You move and shut the door.

Meeting

    Elegant music played in the background within a shining ballroom. Grand, glimmering chandeliers bestowed light to the gallery below. Tables lined the walls of the ballroom while a space was left in the middle of the room. All the attending guests were dressed to impress. The men sported black suits and dress pants with red ties. While the women all wore flowing pearl dresses. Clusters throughout the room engaged in conversation. Those who weren't were either observing the other guests or enjoying the refreshments. There seemed to be a certain tension. Indescribable, but ever present.

    Until suddenly, the doors opened at the top of the staircase and everyone's attention shifted to the new party. A man dressed in similar attire to all the other men with slight but distinct differences. Instead of a red tie, his was off white with gold features and in his breast pocket, a red rose. Everyone stood at his presence with glasses in hand. The man descended the stairs gracefully, almost floating down. The tension seemed to melt away and the air became livelier with anticipation as the man neared the bottom.

    Once he fully descended, a waiter extended a tray with a drink to the man. He responded with a smile while he accepting the glass. He then raised his glass and the whole room followed in suit.

Comfort

    You sit by the fire, warmth embracing you. While you remember the cold you just experienced, the experience is slowly melted away. In this melting, you smile. A kind face appears beside you, offering a warm drink and a blanket, adding to the warmth. Their comforting smile further adds to it. You then feel a light slap on your shoulder, your friend smiling boldly. You can't help but smile back.

    These presences remind you of the warmth on your journey. The friends made. Moments shared. Experiences gained. You take a sip of your drink, drinking it all in. There was cold on your journey, but there was just as much warmth. More significant warmth.

    A weight suddenly falls on you and a jovial smile peeks at you. You chuckle, recognizing them, happy to see them. You turn around to face them and see everyone from your journey. The ones who walked the path with you. The ones who made occasional appearances. The ones who only appeared once, but left a lasting impression.

    You see all this and smile. Knowing you can rest

    in comfort.