Bloom

    I had been buried. Buried in past situations, outdated actions, and curdling emotions... Endlessly this trauma-fueled trio looped, drowning me like a whirlpool. This suffocating loop threatened to keep me buried in darkness. I attempted to drag myself from the pits but the past weighed me down. Again and again I climbed, pushed, grasped for the surface... Only for the weight of the trauma to drag me back down to the depths.

    There were times when I was pulled back down that I pondered staying down. Why keep fighting? Why keep struggling? Why not make my home in this darkness? Why do I have to fight this hard while others seem to still thrive with their darkness...? So I let myself stay down there. The crushing darkness weighing me down further and further. Though upon hitting a new low, experiencing new depths of suffering, I refused it. I refused to continue to experience that low and my resolve recovered. I pushed back, making the climb once more.

    After repeating the cycle so many times, an epiphany occurred to me: let go of the past. Let go of all the falsehoods placed on myself. The miseducation, the voices of others, and patterns instilled through trauma. I did just that, bit by bit, piece by piece, and released the past which weighed me down. Past pain: Released. Past relations which continued the loop: Released. Past behaviours: Released. Finally it came down to one last thing for me to release: My past self... I do just that... It was the most difficult thing to release. Releasing something you were so comfortable with... Though I did it nonetheless.

     Upon that final release, my climb transformed into flight, soaring to the surface. Who knew you could feel so light? Who knew you could feel so free? Eventually I reached the surface, but soon transcend far higher than it. Feeling how light I was, I realized the goal I had striven for was simply the beginning of my flight... It was then I remembered a powerful quote: "No tree can grow to heaven unless it's roots reach down to hell."